TGGC #59: The surprising new science that will transform your sex life with Emily Nagoski

Emily Nagoski is the New York Times bestselling author of Come As You Are: the surprising new science that will transform your sex life. She has a PhD in Health Behavior with a doctoral concentration in human sexuality from Indiana University (IU), and a master’s degree (also from IU) in Counseling, with a clinical internship at the Kinsey Institute Sexual Health Clinic. She has been a sex educator for over twenty years.

Come As You Are absolutely changed my life and my relationship to my sexuality; it’s definitely a must-read.

Emily and I talked about so much including the big myths that are damaging so many women’s relationships to their sexuality, why everyone’s sexuality is actually totally normal (yes, even yours) and the thing that really bugged her about 50 Shades of Grey.


In this episode we talk about:

  • The two books Emily is currently working on writing (they're both so exciting!)
  • What really upset her when reading 50 Shades of Grey (and it might not be what you expect)
  • Emily’s journey to becoming a sex educator
  • Why everyone’s body and sexuality is normal and that we have the same parts put together in different ways
  • The idea that most views of female sexuality is “male lite” and why that’s completely wrong
  • The garden metaphor that helps us understand our individual sexuality
  • Instilling healthy values and beliefs around bodies in our children
  • Why it’s important to go slow when healing sexual shame and disgust
  • Understanding what turns on our sexual accelerator and what hits our sexual brakes
  • Sexual dysfunction is a lot less common among women as some studies have suggested
  • The fact that many women don’t experience spontaneous desire - and that that’s totally normal
  • That it’s totally normal for our arousal state not to match our genital response


Links mentioned:


Where to Find Emily: