50 Simple Steps for Cultivating Self-Love

One thing I’ve learned from working with clients, hanging out with the babes in Girl Gang HQ, and hear from the students of Romance Yourself is that we all understand that self-love is an important concept in an abstract sort of way. We know we should love ourselves, but where do we begin? There’s no manual on how to start loving yourself, so how do we pluck this idea out of the ether and put it into play in our real lives? You need to commit to your relationship with yourself. Nurture it the way you would a relationship with a lover.

These are 50 actions you can take to start cultivating self-love. They’re simple. They’re concrete. They’re totally doable.

You don’t need to do them all at once. Start with the ones that jump out at you and use them as building blocks as you begin learning to love your self.

  • Start a meditation practice.  
  • Make a habit of eating a healthy breakfast (I love green smoothies, but perhaps you prefer fruit salad or a big bowl of oatmeal).
  • Purge your wardrobe of anything that doesn’t fit or make you feel fabulous.  
  • Embrace saying “no.” Remember: ‘”no” is a complete sentence.  
  • Unfollow any blogs or Twitter accounts that trigger comparisonitis and make you feel less than.  
  • Only watch TV and movies that make you feel good.  
  • Keep a list of inspiring quotes in your diary (or on your phone).  
  • Write daily gratitude lists.  
  • Wear a piece of jewellery or any totem that reminds you of your commitment to self-love.  
  • Keep a journal.  
  • Find a form of exercise that you love and start doing it regularly.  
  • Get enough sleep.
  •  Stop hanging out with anyone who doesn’t lift you up.  
  • Schedule in weekly pampering time.  
  • Start your day with a dance party.  
  • Let go of projects that are draining you and filling your heart with dread. This will make room for exciting new things.  
  • Write a love letter to your body. Praise every crevice. Give thanks to every battle scar. Document each miraculous feat it performs for you day in and day out.  
  • Take a photo of yourself every day.  
  • Use positive affirmations.  
  • Find a counsellor or psychologist to talk to.  
  • Choose a personal anthem that pumps you up.  
  • Join or create a weekly meetup group with like-minded people.  
  • Map your desires.  
  • Set goals.
  • Review them regularly.
  • Let go of those that aren’t lighting you up and plan action steps to attain the ones that make your heart sing.  
  • Write down the things that you want to let go of and then burn the paper.  
  • Buy yourself flowers.  
  • Forgive anyone you’re holding a grudge against (if you aren’t sure how, try this meditation).  
  • Make a list of simple self-care techniques and mood-boosting strategies for days when you’re feeling low.  
  • Start working on the most niggly item on your to-do list.
  • Make a habit of “eating that frog.”  
  • When opportunity knocks, say yes. Even if it scares you.  
  • Buy bright lipstick.
  • Get a tattoo.
  • Wear a motorcycle jacket.
  • Find that little extra oomph that helps you feel like a badass.  
  • Get really dressed up a few times a week.
  • Start your day with a glass of warm lemon water.  
  • Write morning pages.  
  • Read You Can Heal Your Life.  
  • Attend a workshop about an area of personal development that interests you.  
  • Give genuine compliments daily.
  • Praising someone takes us out of the mindset of comparing ourselves to them.
  • And you’ll feel good when you see their face light up.  
  • Ask for help when you’re struggling.  
  • Say “I love myself” to yourself as many times a day as you can.
  • Declare it out loud when you look in the mirror.
  • Repeat it silently in your head while you sit at your desk and on your daily commute.
  • Whisper it under your breath while you fall asleep.
  • If you aren’t sure why this is powerful, read Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It.  
  • Create your list of daily non-negotiables.  
  • Get your finances in order.
  • Make a budget.
  • Open a savings account.
  • Take an honest look at how much debt you’re in and make a plan to get out of it.
  • If you don’t know where to start, read a book or take a course on personal finances.  
  • Buy a vibrator and give yourself orgasms regularly – it will make you happier!  
  • Cover your walls with pictures and words that inspire you.  
  • Make a list of your beliefs and the things you know for sure.  
  • Ask for what you want.  
  • Write a list of characteristics you want to embody and brainstorm ways you can start cultivating them.  
  • Start each day by setting an intention of how you want to feel.  
  • Clean up your space and get organized.  
  • Write down your commitment to loving yourself.

What simple step can you take towards loving yourself more fully today?