Most of us are carrying around fears that we feed like parasitic gremlins. They found us when we were growing up or they were passed down to us by our parents and we haven’t been able to shake them since. Even when we think we’ve gotten over them, they’re clutching onto our backs or nipping at our heels. Early on, fear became our lifestyle.
The average person has been thinking the same fearful thoughts for so long that we're unconscious of even thinking of them. Even when things look great from the outside, there's a feedback loop of worry, hand-wringing, and worst-case-scenarios circling over and over in our minds.
You can commit to self-love and personal development and still find yourself slipping into fearful thinking at the smallest sign of trouble. It bubbles up and suddenly you've slipped underneath and it feels like you're drowning in fear, even though it was your own thinking that allowed that fear to grow. Fearful thoughts are alluring temptresses.
Maybe because fear gives us a rush. Or because we're so used to being afraid that that discomfort is actually where we're most comfortable. Or because fear makes us a victim and seems to demand that we become the centre of attention – even if it’s not in a good way.
Regardless of the reason, it’s easy to get sucked in by fear and once we do, it feels impossible to see past it.
Because giving space to those thoughts feeds the fear gremlins. When we allow our mind to jump from one fearful thought to another, we make them stronger and more powerful.
But we don’t starve the fear gremlins by pretending they’re not there or by positive affirmationing our way over them. We starve our fears by becoming so intimately familiar with them that we can call each gremlin out by name. When we name our fears we can look at them objectively. We can begin to notice evidence that runs contrary to what we’ve been telling ourselves we can interrupt our fearful thoughtful patterns when we notice them emerge.
So get out your journal or a pad of paper and take an inventory of your fears.
When you think of living your ideal life, what hesitations or fears stand in your way? What negative thoughts and limiting beliefs hold you back from fully loving yourself? What unkind words did you internalize as a child? What destructive patterns can you pinpoint in your life? Drill down by looking for the overlap between your fears until you identify your key limiting beliefs.
Start looking for evidence to the contrary. How have you already proven these fears wrong in the past? What more productive, loving beliefs could you replace them with?
Now when one of your gremlins throws one of these fears at you, in whatever guise, you can stop yourself before you get sucked into a downward spiral of negative self-talk and say “That’s just that tired old thought again and today I’m choosing a different one.”
Because they’re your thoughts and this is your life. You get to design it to look and feel however you want. So, choose to stop feeding those fear gremlins.
Loving you fiercely,
Photograph via HandBag.com.