The Big Leap: Conquer Hidden Fear and Take Life to the Next Levelis one of those books that had me exclaiming "yes!" throughout each and every chapter. Written by Gay Hendericks, this is a book about recognising and overcoming your upper limit problem so that you can happily live with more abundance, success, and joy in your life. He explains the upper limit problem as a sort of default setting that we are all programmed with at a young age. It's the maximum amount of good feelings we think we're capable or "allowed" to experience. When we go past this threshold by entering a really wonderful relationship, attaining great success in our career, or becoming happier for any other reason, we drag ourselves back down with self-sabotage or limiting beliefs. Of course we do this so subtly that we don't realize it's us that creates this cycle of misery. Our upper limit problem becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy and we might adopt a "why does this always happen to me?" attitude. But by recognising our upper limit problem and refusing to buy into it anymore, we can enter what Hendericks calls our "zone of genius" and reach our true potential in every area of our life.
This book is full of useful exercises, ideas, and a great affirmation to help you dismantle your upper limit program and I highly recommend reading it for yourself. Here are a few of my biggest take aways:
- Worry, fear, and sadness is often our reaction to some sort of positive experience or breakthrough trying to shine through. Pausing and allowing ourself to locate this positive feeling in our body nurtures it so that it can grow and spread.
- Humans generally shift between two relationships with time: believing that there's never enough and that the minutes are always racing by or being bored, so that every second seems to drag on forever. But when we recognise the power our mindset has over time (or at least our perception of time), we can also recognise that we always have enough, so that time seems to shrink or expand to exactly what we need.
- Being in a relationship will constantly challenge our upper limit program as it pushes us to expand our capacity to love and be loved. Usually we resist this challenge and find ways to push our partners away or sabotage the relationship. But if we remain constantly open to learning through both the ups and downs of our relationship, we're able to be truly intimate with one another and work through the upper limit problem together.
Hendericks has a PhD in psychology, so he takes a very pragmatic approach to his subject matter and offers practical way to implement what he's teaching, which I think will appeal to people who are put off by self-help woo woo. However, there is also a spiritual and metaphysical component to his writing as well, especially when it comes to thinking about time differently. Don't let this dissuade you from reading it as there's a lot of substance under everything he says and I feel certain that anyone could get a lot of insight from this book.
The Big Leap is one of my favourite books we've read through The Self-Love Book Club and I think it is an essential read for anyone who is looking for more in their career, in love, or in any other area of their life.
Have you read The Big Leap? I'd love to hear what you thought!