Whether you're looking for fulfillment, money, joy, better health, a new job, a great relationship, or anything else, the answer starts in the same place: learning to love yourself. I don't claim to have it all figured out. I still have times when my inner critic speaks more loudly than anything else. When I struggle with my own self-worth and get wrapped up in periods of darkness. But the difference from several years ago is that now I have a toolbox to help me deal with difficult situations when they arise. I have honed my intuition and know where to look for answers, which is usually inside myself. And I've gained the confidence to ask for help when I don't know the way home.
Self-love isn't something you achieve and then forget about. That would be like losing a bunch of weight and then go back to eating endless bags of crisps and sitting on the couch all day. Loving yourself is a lifestyle choice. It's a daily commitment to honouring yourself. To putting your needs first. If you don't maintain it, those old dark patterns and negative beliefs creep in.
But self-love can seem like such an amorphous concept. It's my hope that I can help provide practical advice for when you're starting this journey, trying to figure out the next step, or want to deepen your practice.
So often self-love is talked about in terms of vague metaphors or we're told to affirm over our problems, simply wishing them away. I want to help you dive into the heart of it. Into all the messy uncertainty, so that you can really learn to embrace and accept who you are right now and take steps towards the person you want to become.
Wherever you're at today, here are 20 posts with practical, actionable strategies for loving yourself, wholly and completely.
Navigating Sadness: Nothing gets fixed by being ignored, so here are my thoughts on how we can love ourselves even when things are hard and how to move through sadness without forcing ourselves to the other side.
Your Diet Can Be an Act of Self-Love: When we recognise this, we can free ourselves from the cycles of deprivation and over-indulgence, and focus instead on eating in a way that makes us feel good.
50 Simple Steps for Cultivating Self-Love: Simple, practical tools that you can start using today.
25 Totally Free, Completely Magical Acts of Self-Love: Self-care doesn't have to be expensive, or cost anything at all.
7 Ways to Bust Out of a Slump: When you find yourself in a funk you might not be able to just shake it off, but you can choose to move through it with love.
Don’t Be Such a Drama Queen: Drama is the antithesis of self-love. But drama doesn't "follow you" or "happen to you." It's a choice that you're indulging in. And for many of us, it's an addiction. Here's how to shake it.
A Quick and Dirty Guide to Meditation: I think the most important, simple, and effective thing you can do to calm your mind, align with your intuition, and really accept yourself is to start a meditation practice.
How to Stop Gossiping: Is time for you to detox from gossip?
Judgment Day: What can you do to be a little bit bolder – a little more you – today?
What I Learned From the Self-Love Book Club: There's a reason these lessons come up again and again.
It’s Not About You (So Stop Taking it Personally): We can never fully operate from a place of self-love when we're blaming ourselves for everything or internalising every piece of criticism we receive.
The Art of Investing in Yourself: Investing ourselves isn't (necessarily) about buying that new course or going to the spa. It's about being intentional with our time and money and shifting away from denying ourselves what we want and need, in order to move into a place of expansion.
Creating a Magical Daily Practice You Love: We are what we do consistently. And when we create a daily practice that nourishes every aspect of us, we turn self-love into a lifestyle.
Get Your Brag On!: We need to stop treating 'brag' like a dirty word.
Calibrating Your Internal Compass: Find your true north by learning to trust your intuition and honour your deepest needs.
Sometimes Life is Just Butterfly Soup (And That’s Okay!): The breakdown can be as important as the breakthrough.
Turn Today Around: Decide to make your rotten, horrible, no good, bad day better.
Don’t Feed the Fear Gremlins: When we look our fears in the eye, we begin to take away their power.
Don’t Let Someone Else Create the Yard Stick for Your Life: Create your own measurements for success and stop comparing yourself to other people.
Instead of Looking for the Right Person, Become the Right Person: Even when it comes to love, there are so many things you can do to start designing the life you really want. And when we work on fulfilling and loving ourselves first, the relationships we create will be so much stronger and sweeter.
I hope you've found words to bolster you, offer guidance, or inspiration for wherever you're at in your self-love journey. You're not alone in this and if you're ever uncertain on how to move forward, I'd love to hear from you and offer any help I can. And if you'd like a guiding hand and a step-by-step process for starting this journey or getting past any road blocks, I created Romance Yourself for you.
So tell me, what are you going to do to recommit to loving yourself today?