I'm sick of glossy, polished self-help advice.
I'm tired of aspirational lifestyles that look a whole lot different online than they do offline.
I’m totally over self-care feeling like a never-ending to-do list that I can never quite get “right."
I'm sick and tired of all of that because it fucks with my head. It makes me think I want things I don't really want. And sometimes it hinders how I show up in this space. I'm really not okay with that.
I write articles here each week because I want to share my experiences with you. I want them to be helpful and explanatory. I don't want to put out some trite mumbo jumbo that might sound nice on paper but doesn't make a lick of difference to your life.
But I also want to show you the blood and guts of it. Of how hard and messy this work is. The fact that it cracks you open.
I want to prove to you that it's all worth it. That taking the reins of our own lives and steering in the direction of our desires is deeply empowering, magical, and joy-inducing. But that at the same time, you’re perfect just as you are and that true happiness and self-love come not from self-improvement but from deep, radical self-acceptance.
Yet, somehow, the work is never finished. You're always healing and growing. Learning and expanding. Experimenting and becoming. This is a lifelong journey. Not something we can tie up with a pretty pink bow, tick off our bucket list, and be done with. It’s not an achievement to be won.
Truly diving into this work doesn't mean being happy every day. It doesn’t mean just “living in the light” and eradicating fear. Because to do so would ignore our shadow, which is a deep, integral part of us.
If I learned anything in 2015, it was that I have all of the wisdom I need inside of me. And so do you.
Working with and learning from other people can offer me new tools for tapping into this wisdom. But it is only when I go inward that I can truly heal and grow.
But I don’t have to do it alone. Qoya founder Rochelle Schiek says, "Two of the most powerful words in the English language are 'Me, too.'" When one woman speaks her truth it shows other women that they are not alone. That we’re in this together. That life is better when we lift each other up rather than tearing each other down. And when we do this work, when we focus on growth and healing, we help our sisters to do the same.
In 2016, let’s...
- learn to view the beauty in our cracks and stop trying to polish them away.
- honour our cyclic nature as women and stop trying to show up the same everyday.
- infuse our everyday with magic.
- tell each other what’s really going on so that we give others the chance to say “me too."
- seduce our desires.
- admit that sometimes self-care looks like lying on the couch binging on Netflix.
- make a mess.
- know that it’s okay to not be alright.
- stop striving and start prioritizing pleasure.
- say “fuck it” to anything that makes us feel less than.
- surrender and trust that our journey is taking us somewhere wonderful.
- honour our shadow and revel in every aspect of who we are, rather than trying to cover anything up.
- get our shit together and take full responsibility for our choices.
- create crystal clear clarity around our desires.
- cultivate rituals and perform ceremonies that express our beliefs and infuse our lives with deep meaning.
- admit when it’s hard.
- get our brag on (there’s no shame in our game!)
- embrace our contradictions.
- live in the grey area.
- be real. Really, really real. Even when it hurts.
I love you.
And I believe that you’re exactly where you need to be, right here, right now.
I’m committed to showing up here every week and sharing free content that’s practical and actionable but also raw and honest. I promise to show you my blood and guts in 2016.