A Simple Ritual for Honouring Your Transition Days

If you have points in your cycle where you feel tender, irritable, overwhelmed, or inexplicably sad when you’d least expect to, read on, as this ritual can help.

Most people who follow the work have become at least peripherally familiar with the four phases of the menstrual cycle. And just as the lunar calendar can be talked about in eight stages, we can expand our understanding of the menstrual cycle to include the four crossover or transition days.

I often hear from parents who are confused why they have such challenging and tender moments in their cycles when they expect to feel positive and energetic. When we dive deeper, we often discover that what they're noticing is a pattern common to the cycle's crossover days. Many of us are sensitive to the hormonal shifts and fluctuations that happen between phases, so these moments of transition can lead to feeling tender and wobbly. And energetically, these points can feel like being pulled in two directions while we stand with one foot in the phase we’ve just traversed and the other planted in the phase we’re about to enter.

When we understand the crossover days, we can come to expect them as a regular part of our life’s fabric. We can greet them with compassion, understand that they are temporary, and perhaps even make accommodations that will help the challenging aspects be easier to navigate.

As Alexandra Pope and Alexandra Pope and Sjanie Hugo Wurlitzer say in their book Wild Power:

“Think of your crossover days as mini ‘gaps in the fabric of life’ - like a void moment. They potentially expose you to emptiness, a subtle sensation of the metaphorical ground giving way under you. This creates an emotional wobble or unease. Mostly this won’t be strong - a mere blip on the screen that signals you’re changing gears - but where it is intense it can tell you something of your deeper needs or current challenges. Generally speaking, the more tired or stressed you are, the more you feel the crossovers. It’s worth remembering that you may have a moment in the cycle that gets you every time and you just have to laugh and love that foible in yourself.”

Of course as parents, we go through many seasons of exhaustion or additional stress. So our crossover days can continuously show up as difficult moments in our cycles.

My experience has shown that a true recognition and honouring of our crossover days, where possible, allows us to move through our cycles with more intention. They offer us the opportunity to reflect on what is still asking to be completed in one phase and to understand what we are being invited into as we step into the next.

For example, crossing over from our inner summer (ovulation) to the inner autumn (the premenstruum), it’s as if we occupy two very different energies at the same time. We may feel pulled between an urge to be out with people, trying all the things, taking big actions on projects, and getting all the things done on the one hand and a desire to curl inwards, be reflective, edit away what’s not working on our lives, and move at a slower pace on the other.

Often there’s an impulse to give all our attention to the phase/energy that’s more socially acceptable. In this case, ovulation. But as many of us know all too well, this is a surefire recipe for burn out and also means that we don’t experience the richness and diverse gifts our cycle has to offer. I’d argue it also increases the difficulty of transition days, that are asking us to move between these two energies.

My ritual for honouring crossover days is simple. When I recognize I’m moving into a transition day, I sit down to do a little bit of journaling (but if writing isn’t your thing, you might just want to find a few quiet minutes to think). Lighting a candle and making a cup of herbal tea help invite me into a more sacred space.

At the beginning of my cycle, I pull four oracle or tarot cards (one for each main phase) to help offer insights into the cycle ahead. I like to revisit these cards on the crossover days, reflecting on how the messages from a card have shown up in the previous phase and feeling into how the other card might offer insights for navigating the phase ahead.

But the cards are totally optional. What I think is helpful, is taking a few minutes to consciously transition from one phase of the cycle to the next. Here are some questions I like to reflect on:

✨ What still feels undone from this phase of my cycle?

✨ What would offer me completion in this phase of my cycle?

✨ What is this next phase of my cycle calling me to and what small actions will help me answer that call?

✨ How can I work with the energies of this next phase to further my overall vision and intentions for this cycle?

The key to this ritual is simplicity. These can feel like big questions but often a few scribbled lines for each can be enough to provide clarity and allow you to move through your cycle with more intention.

And by meeting the challenging moments in our cycles consciously, our experience of them often shifts. We develop an intimacy with these energies and even if they still present challenges, this familiarity can also create softness and a sense of purpose.

There can also be a grief that accompanies these transition days, especially when we’re moving into a phase that we find particularly challenging. This can be particularly true if you experience a great deal of physical or psychic pain at certain points in your cycle. I’d really encourage you in these moments to put a hand on your heart and let yourself be with the grief for a couple of minutes. Don’t try to fix it or change it. Don’t try to explain it away or even remind yourself of all the gifts that phase can offer, not yet at least. Simply bring your loving presence to sitting with the feelings, emotions, sensations, and thoughts that come up. Let them shift and change when they’re ready. Perhaps imagining your hand beaming love into your heart space and allowing your heart to pump that love around your body. You might offer yourself a few tender words that you would offer a dear friend.

If you’re new to menstrual cycle awareness, you may still be trying to orient yourself in what phase you’re in and understand the broader patterns that are coming up for you. If you haven’t already, I’d recommend downloading my Cyclic Parenting 101 ebook to help guide you. Come back to this ritual when you feel called to. Starting slowly and simply is always the key.

If you’re wanting to move into a deeper relationship with your cycle and experience the ease and flow it can offer, my 1:1 cycle coaching program is designed to help you do just that.

If you have any insights into your crossover days, or questions you’d like to ask, please do leave a comment or send me an email. I’d love to chat.