Seasonal Rituals for the New Year

As this year comes to a close you're likely to be bombarded with "new year, new year" messages. Everywhere I look there's a different planning system, goal setting method, or 5-point plan promising to radically transform your life. (If you're managing to avoid this messaging, let me know your secret, k?).

There are so many things about this trend that gets my back up. Not least of which: you are not a project or a problem to be fixed. And anything that points you to external sources of wisdom rather than your deep inner knowing is out of alignment with the Cyclic Parenting Framework.

And of course, there's the fact that in the Northern Hemisphere, this is a time of deep rest, replenishment, stillness, and growing new roots. If you're in the Southern Hemisphere, a big goal setting session + epic action plan might feel perfectly aligned for you right now. But frantic planning, manic life overhauls, and massive action feel like the antithesis of what our soft animal bodies have been primed for (and deeply need) at this time of year in the part of the world where I live.

All that said, I still love the fresh start of a new year. But I believe that there's a way to work with this energy that honours the reality of the season and that weaves into our larger cyclic experience, rather than falling into the pitfalls of goals and resolutions that may set us up for failure if they're not aligned with our current experience.

I see this next six weeks as a period of rest, regeneration, dreaming, and visioning before we beginning slowly emerging more fully from the darkness to plant seeds of intentions and take the first gentle, wobbly steps of nurturing them before watching those first sprouts emerge. 

I hope that takes the pressure off, knowing that rather than having to figure out your entire life in the next few days, that we have many weeks to allow this vision to fully and naturally emerge. We'll pass through the calendar new year, the lunar new year, and the astrological new year. Plus, a new moon and, if you menstruate, a new menstrual cycle, are never far away. New beginnings are all around us. And through the practice of menstrual cycle awareness we're gifted the opportunity to craft visions, plant intentions, nurture our goals, enjoy the fruits of our efforts, and prune away what no longer serves us, each and every month. A date on the calendar need not define our access to a fresh start in any way.

Below are a few seasonally-appropriate rituals that I enjoy to mark the new year and sink fully into the visioning potential these next couple of months hold.

Seasonal Rituals for the New Year

Connect with the outer landscape

Even the seasonal wheel of the year traditions many of us have woven into our lives have come from a specific time and place. But the climate we live in might be quite different or this year might offer us a different rhythm than it has in different years. Take some time to walk outside and reflect on: What is happening to the landscape around you? What is the weather like? What are the plants and animals doing? What do you imagine is happening under the ground? How do these patterns relate to your own inner landscape? How might you weave these energies into the coming weeks?

Make space for deep rest

The dark of the year is a time for rest and replenishment, which I know can feel so difficult as a busy parent. As much as possible, I try to treat this as a "time between times" where I say no to social commitments more than I say yes and suspend expectations about our day-to-day needing to look a certain way or include every activity it normally does. Yoga nidra can be a wonderful practice to incorporate at this time of year as it offers the opportunity for deep rest in a relatively short period of time (this is one of my favourites) Even spending ten minutes during the day with ear plugs in and an eye mask on can 

Release the year

Making space to really reflect on all that came to pass during the last 12 months, process any difficult experiences, acknowledge disappointment around goals not achieved, and celebrate your accomplishments creates space to integrate all that this year offered and to step into a new one with intention and openness. I really like doing this using the YearCompass (it's a free download) Or here are some questions you could reflect on in your journal: What new things did I try in 2022? What did I create? (recipes, babies, books, crafts...it all counts) What did I learn? What am I grateful for? How did I change? What did I let go of? What am I celebrating? What am I grieving? What felt sticky or challenging? What still feels unresolved? What will I carry with me into 2023? What will I leave behind?

Craft a vision rooted in feeling

More than a list of goals and intentions, I spend these next weeks dreaming into the bigger vision for our life. The feelings I want to experience. The texture of our days that I want to create. I visualize our ideal days and the little rituals that will weave into our lives. I meditate on what small changes will help me embody them. I intuitively cut out pictures and stick them together to help me stay rooted in these feelings and visions. The specific desires make themselves known more naturally when I've grounded into this feelings-based vision first.

Allow yourself to go into the dark

I make space for literal darkness at this time of the year with candlelit evenings and I also think it's the perfect time to spend time with the places that feel dark within ourselves. Shadow work is the process of meeting those parts of ourselves that we have repressed, rejected, or abandoned with love, so that we can feel integrated and whole. I find that often the biggest shifts happen not by making huge life changes but by becoming more comfortable and compassionate with ourselves exactly as we are. I love this journal for beginning the lifelong journey of shadow work.

Celebrate what's working

We're told over and over again to dredge up anything that might feel like a fault and focus on any area of life that might not be working as we'd like so that we can change them. I really like to resist this kind of thinking by sitting down to write a gratitude list for everything that is working. All of the ways I support myself and my family. All of the little rituals we've built and love. Every bit of support we have holding us up and every tiny resource we have access to. The things I love about my work, my body, our home. I write it all down as a reminder that I don't need a total life overhaul. There's so much about my life that is wonderful about my life. I want to dwell in that before thinking about making any small tweaks or changes. (And if you're currently in a dark place where this feels hard to access...I've been there and I get it. Even if your list feels teeny tiny right now, I still think it's worth noticing the good in yourself and your life. Please reach out for support if you need it.).

Create a small ritual of self-connection and look for patterns

Tracking your menstrual cycle. Pulling an oracle card. Writing a few lines reflecting on your thoughts, feelings, and desires. The what of the ritual is less important than the daily commitment to being still and present with yourself. Noticing how you feel, what is working and what isn't, what we're desiring. This allows us to tune out the noise and tune into intentions that are rooted in who we are and what we want in this season of life.

I offer these up as little gems that work for me at this time of year. But of course there's nothing you need to do. As always, I hope you’ll follow your inner guidance and desires to find a way of marking the occasion that feels good and meaningful for you.