Navigating the Inner Winter
Here's the honest truth: last year wrung me out.
In 2022, we lived in 5 homes. We packed up our lives and moved across the world. We went through an incredibly stressful house sale process. We went for 10 months without any consistent childcare. We went months with very little income coming in. We bought a car, found somewhere to live, and furnished a house in an incredibly fast-paced housing market and while there were shortages of pretty much everything. We've felt the pressure of continuing P's education and making sure he had enough social contact while trying to get ourselves settled and grounded in this new life.
It's been intense. Honestly, it still is.
There were plenty of “what the fuck have we done?” moments.
We're so glad to be here and yet we desperately ache for our old life.
It's taken its toll. I've felt emptied out. There are so many gifts and lessons in that, and it's also so painful and difficult.
I think it's important to share that. We all go through difficult seasons of life. “Wintering” is a natural part of the human experience. It's a normal part of any journey or creative process.
In the past, these seasons broke me. I would burnout and even experience serious mental health crises. It would take months or even years to recover.
So while there has been plenty of discomfort throughout, I'm so grateful for my cyclic parenting practices that keep my connected to myself and confident that we are living a life aligned with our values. That help me navigate the difficult seasons without losing myself completely.
For anyone else going through their own inner winter, I see you and I'm sending love. Here's what's helping me navigate my own:
Staying connected with my Menstrual Cycle Awareness practice. This is the foundation of the Cyclic Parenting Framework because it is so simple but offers so much. Through the process of charting my cycle I've stayed connected to myself, my needs, my desires, my intuition, and my values through a season that could easily have swept me off my feet and pushed me under water with the busy-ness and intensity of it all. Through this self-connection I'm able to see how to meet my needs in ways that are doable within the circumstances, work with my natural energy levels, gain clarity on what isn't working, and receive insights into what changes would best serve our family. Yes, all from a 2-3 minute per day practice (if you're ready to go deeper with your charting practice, reply to this e-mail and let's chat).
Doubling down on my daily micro rituals. Often when things are tough it feels like only massive changes and huge self-care plans will make a difference to the difficulties we're facing. My experience is that smaller is always better. It's the tiny things we do every day that have the power to turn the tide. Choosing 1-3 small daily rituals can radically transform how you feel (I teach a very powerful process for identifying what self-care practices will have the biggest impact in your current season of life and how to make them consistent habits with ease in my signature self-care course).
Embracing the season I'm in. Just like with the outer season, the beginning of winter can often feel like a relief: a chance to slow down, turn inward, reflect, and rest. But what at first felt cozy and nourishing can quickly grow uncomfortable. We live in a society designed for the go-go-go and to slow down for an extended period of time feels impossible. But just like we can't force the snow to melt outside, we can't shorten our inner winters through sheer force of will. We waste so much energy trying to do so and this further depletes us. Finding a way to mentally accept the season and tweak your life in small ways to embrace it can transform the way you experience it (if you would like support this, again, just reply to this email).
To end, let me offer these words from Katherine May: “We have seasons when we flourish and seasons when the leaves fall from us, revealing our bare bones. Given time, they grow again.”
Already I can feel fresh sprouts emerging in my inner landscape. Because spring always follows winter. We just have to give it enough time.
This article was originally sent to my email list on February 18, 2023. If you would like to receive my weekly missives, including real-life stories of cyclic parenting in action and easy to implement trips and practices, you can sign up here.
